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Literature Text
{do you love me little brother?}
when you were born it was easter sunday, and all i complained about was how i didn't get a chocolate egg. i was only ten and my lungs were filled with apathy. i didn't care that i was getting a brother or sister, ten years of my life had been spent as an only child and i liked it that way.
i stayed at my aunt's house, then my granny's, and finally my dad's for the weekend. i was getting motion sickness from all the moving around. after a week, i started to get restless.
i shone as the curious and frustrated child that i was.
they didn't tell me that you were sick, though. when i asked questions about you (which was rare, i admit) they merely shrugged them away.
adults. they underestimate the cranking wheels in a child's mind, always working, always thinking.
i knew that something was wrong. i knew that you had arrived earlier than expected, (two months. you really were in a hurry) but i just imagined you were like the rabbit in "Alice in Wonderland." I used to picture you running around and saying, "I'm late!"
then came the day i had to visit you. my dad brought me to my house, where my step-dad picked me up. i had never felt a tenser situation. it was like an illegal exchange with someone you didn't trust.
on the way to the hospital (which was roughly an hours drive) i got a big lecture from the step-in-father.
he told me that you caused a big havoc in the hospital and had to be taken out of mum's belly in surgery. he also mentioned that mum's tummy was really sore, so the doctors gave her special medicine.
so i went to see mum, and at the time i didn't fully understand the meaning of being *high* but i knew that she was not in this world anymore. she was muttering like an idiot. that wasn't my mum. i wouldn't go near her and when she tried to hug me, i jumped out of her reach and ran down the hospital ward.
they were searching for me for an hour before i was found. i didn't care though.
the nurse and my step-dad brought me up to the "pre-natal" ward to see you. but i couldn't. the different tubes and machines attached to you covered your small, vunerable body. i remember looking at you and thinking, "how is that a sustainable being?" (only in smaller, less complicated words)
you were wearing just a nappy. it was maybe six or seven times too big for you, but it was the smallest one available. you donned a blue hat too, to secure the blindfold they had on you.
it covered your whole face to "keep his eyes protected from the light" the nurses said.
and it was a bright hot lamp that was shining down on you. you also had a big tube about the size of my arm down your throat. one nurse explained that you were like a flower that hadn't bloomed yet and you just needed some help to be fed and grow bigger.
when i think in comparison; your body was thinner than my arm, your fingers were like little needles and your head was the size of my fist, smaller even.
i didn't hold you that day, even though everyone kept trying to make me, i couldn't.
mum was discharged two weeks after having you, but you still needed a safe enviroment to grow.
so we visited you every day for a month. two months. and then came the day that we could bring you home.
we had so many visitors and even a special nurse, that smelt like cinammon.
the first time i held you was when you were 4 months old, although you still looked like a newborn.
it was only for thirty seconds and then i gave you back. i really couldn't handle it.
you were a 11 months old before i talked to you.
you were 13 months old before i held you properly.
you were 18 months old before i hugged you.
every day you would try to hug me and i would never let you.
i didn't love you. i didn't appreciate you.
but you loved me, unconditionally. i was your big sister, the person you looked up to. the person you still look up to.
i love you now, baby brother. i can't believe how stupid i was. i practically missed out on the first year and a half of your life.
{i'll make up for it everyday, every minute, every second baby brother. i promise}
when you were born it was easter sunday, and all i complained about was how i didn't get a chocolate egg. i was only ten and my lungs were filled with apathy. i didn't care that i was getting a brother or sister, ten years of my life had been spent as an only child and i liked it that way.
i stayed at my aunt's house, then my granny's, and finally my dad's for the weekend. i was getting motion sickness from all the moving around. after a week, i started to get restless.
i shone as the curious and frustrated child that i was.
they didn't tell me that you were sick, though. when i asked questions about you (which was rare, i admit) they merely shrugged them away.
adults. they underestimate the cranking wheels in a child's mind, always working, always thinking.
i knew that something was wrong. i knew that you had arrived earlier than expected, (two months. you really were in a hurry) but i just imagined you were like the rabbit in "Alice in Wonderland." I used to picture you running around and saying, "I'm late!"
then came the day i had to visit you. my dad brought me to my house, where my step-dad picked me up. i had never felt a tenser situation. it was like an illegal exchange with someone you didn't trust.
on the way to the hospital (which was roughly an hours drive) i got a big lecture from the step-in-father.
he told me that you caused a big havoc in the hospital and had to be taken out of mum's belly in surgery. he also mentioned that mum's tummy was really sore, so the doctors gave her special medicine.
so i went to see mum, and at the time i didn't fully understand the meaning of being *high* but i knew that she was not in this world anymore. she was muttering like an idiot. that wasn't my mum. i wouldn't go near her and when she tried to hug me, i jumped out of her reach and ran down the hospital ward.
they were searching for me for an hour before i was found. i didn't care though.
the nurse and my step-dad brought me up to the "pre-natal" ward to see you. but i couldn't. the different tubes and machines attached to you covered your small, vunerable body. i remember looking at you and thinking, "how is that a sustainable being?" (only in smaller, less complicated words)
you were wearing just a nappy. it was maybe six or seven times too big for you, but it was the smallest one available. you donned a blue hat too, to secure the blindfold they had on you.
it covered your whole face to "keep his eyes protected from the light" the nurses said.
and it was a bright hot lamp that was shining down on you. you also had a big tube about the size of my arm down your throat. one nurse explained that you were like a flower that hadn't bloomed yet and you just needed some help to be fed and grow bigger.
when i think in comparison; your body was thinner than my arm, your fingers were like little needles and your head was the size of my fist, smaller even.
i didn't hold you that day, even though everyone kept trying to make me, i couldn't.
mum was discharged two weeks after having you, but you still needed a safe enviroment to grow.
so we visited you every day for a month. two months. and then came the day that we could bring you home.
we had so many visitors and even a special nurse, that smelt like cinammon.
the first time i held you was when you were 4 months old, although you still looked like a newborn.
it was only for thirty seconds and then i gave you back. i really couldn't handle it.
you were a 11 months old before i talked to you.
you were 13 months old before i held you properly.
you were 18 months old before i hugged you.
every day you would try to hug me and i would never let you.
i didn't love you. i didn't appreciate you.
but you loved me, unconditionally. i was your big sister, the person you looked up to. the person you still look up to.
i love you now, baby brother. i can't believe how stupid i was. i practically missed out on the first year and a half of your life.
{i'll make up for it everyday, every minute, every second baby brother. i promise}
Literature
A Way to Forget
I was seeking aimlessly
through the jars of my life.
I found them in a dream,
these great, magic urns,
one containing butter, one, milk
others filled with grains or brass or gold.
I was looking for the lids, in order to cover them up
but i could not find even one.
Sometimes, I would spill a little and
sometimes, I would return from elsewhere
to find them empty
This caused me a great deal of anxious sadness
just sitting there, looking into the empty containers
that once held my life
I woke up some time later and checked the clock
10 pm
I had not had a drink in several hours.
I needed a drink.
So,
I got up and
produced shirt
Literature
Thank you. Thank you....
I'm lying on the ground
not by my own choice.
Tears fall from the corner of my eyes
they fall hard on the ground.
The moment they touch the ground
they turn to blood.
I'm feeling sick.
It feels like,
someone has pushed my stomach,
up between my lungs.
It feels like my ribs are falling apart.
My heart is running for it's life… Or mine.
The blood falls from everywhere
it falls from my eyes,
from my mouth
and from my ears.
I see no evil
speak no evil
and hear no evil.
But I can still hear your voice in my mind.
You're telling me to die,
to kill myself if needed.
Stab a knife through my chest.
In between of my ribs,
s
Literature
But NOT
We were best friends. Been so for 5 years.
But I crossed the line, I fell in love with you.
I thought I saw the signals. Thought my feelings weren't one-sided. I swear the blush and the hidden glances were there.
So I confessed my love to you, decided to stop playing hide and seek, and fell hard to the floor. I guess you can't hide what you don't have.
I hated you so much for misleading me with those incredible eyes of yours. I've been hating you since then, and yet I'm broken up inside, still loving you.
Now my hair is long, I wear high-heels and short skirts; because once you told me that's what you like, when you would still talk to m
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i didn't write this so someone could tell me what i should rephrase etc. etc.
i'm not asking for a critique. just, if you have siblings, look at how you treat them. i wish i could take back those first 2 years and be a better sister. but i can't so i'm gonna have to spend the rest of my life making up for it. never stop telling them that you love them. someday they might not be there for you to tell them.
046. family.
#100ThemeChallenge
MY GALLERY | MY STAMPS | MY 100 THEME CHALLENGE | FORMSPRING
i'm not asking for a critique. just, if you have siblings, look at how you treat them. i wish i could take back those first 2 years and be a better sister. but i can't so i'm gonna have to spend the rest of my life making up for it. never stop telling them that you love them. someday they might not be there for you to tell them.
046. family.
#100ThemeChallenge
MY GALLERY | MY STAMPS | MY 100 THEME CHALLENGE | FORMSPRING
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I kinda wish my older siblings would read this...They barely talk to me anymore. Then again, that probably has to do with me being much younger than them. There's a ten years gap between me and my sister, and she's the youngest of my siblings. *sigh* I sometimes hate being the runt of the family.